Have you ever had one of those days when everything feels hard? You wake up tired, unmotivated, or even sad. Maybe you’re having a rough week or just dealing with more than usual. Even simple things—like getting out of bed or answering a message—can feel like too much. On days like this, you might tell yourself you’re lazy or feel guilty for not doing enough. But the truth is, it’s okay to rest. In fact, learning how to rest without guilt is important for your mental health.
Why We Feel Bad for Resting
Many of us are taught to believe that being productive is what gives us value (Brown, 2018). We’re told to always be busy, to work hard, and to never waste time. Social media often adds pressure by showing people always achieving, working out, or being creative (Andreassen, 2015). When we rest, we might feel like we’re falling behind or not doing enough.
According to psychologists, this kind of guilt can come from perfectionism or unrealistic expectations (Flett & Hewitt, 2022). We may feel like we have to earn rest by finishing everything first. But life isn’t always that simple. Sometimes your body and mind just need a break—especially on hard days (Kabat-Zinn, 1994).
How Pushing Through Can Hurt You
Ignoring your need to rest can actually make things worse. When you push yourself too hard during a tough time, your stress increases (American Psychological Association [APA], 2021). This can lead to burnout, which makes you feel even more tired and overwhelmed (Maslach & Leiter, 2016).
If you don’t take time to care for yourself, you might also feel more anxious, depressed, or even angry (Miller, 2021). Over time, your mental health can suffer, making it even harder to handle life’s ups and downs (National Institute of Mental Health [NIMH], 2023).
Giving Yourself Grace: What It Means
Giving yourself grace means being kind to yourself, especially when things are hard. It means accepting that it’s okay to not be okay sometimes (Neff, 2011). Everyone has rough days. You don’t have to earn your rest. You don’t have to be perfect.
Psychologist Kristin Neff explains that self-compassion—talking to yourself like you would a friend—can help lower stress and build emotional strength (Neff, 2011). It’s about allowing yourself to feel, to pause, and to recover without judgment.
Ways to Let Yourself Rest Without Guilt
If you’re struggling with guilt while resting, here are some simple ways to show yourself grace:
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Talk to Yourself Kindly
Say things like, “I’m doing my best,” or “It’s okay to take a break.” Positive self-talk can shift your mindset (Shapiro, 2020). -
Set Small Goals
Instead of a long to-do list, focus on one or two small tasks. That way, even if you rest most of the day, you can still feel a sense of achievement (Locke & Latham, 2002). -
Do Low-Energy Activities
If lying in bed all day feels bad, try something calming like coloring, listening to music, or watching a comfort show (Reinecke, 2009). Rest doesn’t have to mean doing nothing—it just means giving your brain and body a break. -
Remind Yourself That Rest Is Productive
Rest helps your brain reset and your body recharge (Walker, 2017). Just like sleep, downtime is necessary for focus, creativity, and emotional health. -
Unplug for a While
Social media can increase feelings of guilt by making it seem like everyone else is doing more (Twenge, 2019). Try to unplug and focus on your own needs.
Why Seeing a Therapist or Psychiatrist Can Help
Sometimes, we need help learning how to give ourselves grace. Talking to a therapist or psychiatrist can be a powerful way to work through feelings of guilt, sadness, or pressure (Briere & Scott, 2014).
Therapists can teach coping tools, help change negative thinking, and provide a safe space to talk about your feelings (Corey, 2020). Psychiatrists can also help if your symptoms are part of a bigger mental health issue, like anxiety or depression (NAMI, 2023).
Getting professional support isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s a brave step toward healing and growth (Rogers, 1961). Just like you’d see a doctor for a broken bone, it’s okay to ask for help with emotional pain. We would love to help continue your healing journey Check out our therapists and find one that meets your needs.
Final Thoughts: You Deserve Rest
Bad days happen to everyone. You are not lazy or weak for needing rest. You are human. Life can be hard sometimes, and giving yourself grace isn’t giving up—it’s choosing to care for your well-being.
Rest is not a reward. It’s a necessity. And when you learn to rest without guilt, you give your mind and heart the space to heal, grow, and keep going.
You are deserving and entitled to rest. Happy Monday! I Hope you all have a beautiful week.
With Love,
Bri
References:
American Psychological Association. (2021). Stress in America 2021: Stress and decision-making during the pandemic. https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/stress/2021
Andreassen, C. S. (2015). Online social network site addiction: A comprehensive review. Current Addiction Reports, 2(2), 175–184. https://doi.org/10.1007/s40429-015-0056-9
Briere, J., & Scott, C. (2014). Principles of trauma therapy: A guide to symptoms, evaluation, and treatment (2nd ed.). SAGE Publications.
Brown, B. (2018). Dare to lead: Brave work. Tough conversations. Whole hearts. Random House.
Corey, G. (2020). Theory and practice of counseling and psychotherapy (10th ed.). Cengage Learning.
Flett, G. L., & Hewitt, P. L. (2022). Perfectionism in the self and the group: Self-critical perfectionism, coping, and adjustment. American Psychological Association.
Kabat-Zinn, J. (1994). Wherever you go, there you are: Mindfulness meditation in everyday life. Hyperion.
Locke, E. A., & Latham, G. P. (2002). Building a practically useful theory of goal setting and task motivation. American Psychologist, 57(9), 705–717. https://doi.org/10.1037/0003-066X.57.9.705
Maslach, C., & Leiter, M. P. (2016). Burnout: A multidimensional perspective. Taylor & Francis.
Miller, K. (2021). Emotional fatigue: The silent pandemic. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog
National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). (2023). Mental health conditions. https://www.nami.org/About-Mental-Illness/Mental-Health-Conditions
National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH). (2023). Caring for your mental health. https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/caring-for-your-mental-health
Neff, K. (2011). Self-compassion: The proven power of being kind to yourself. William Morrow.
Reinecke, L. (2009). Games and recovery: The use of video and computer games to recuperate from stress and strain. Journal of Media Psychology, 21(3), 126–142. https://doi.org/10.1027/1864-1105.21.3.126
Rogers, C. R. (1961). On becoming a person: A therapist’s view of psychotherapy. Houghton Mifflin.
Shapiro, S. L. (2020). Rewire your mind: Discover the science of mindfulness and the practice of being present. New Harbinger.
Twenge, J. M. (2019). iGen: Why today’s super-connected kids are growing up less rebellious, more tolerant, less happy—and completely unprepared for adulthood. Atria Books.
Walker, M. (2017). Why we sleep: Unlocking the power of sleep and dreams. Scribner.
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