Category Archives: Holiday gatherings

Family Matters of the Heart!!

As we approach the holiday season, it’s important to reflect on the complexities of family dynamics. I know firsthand how challenging this time can be, especially with the loss of loved ones and the drama that can arise among those still around. Coming from a large family with diverse ethnicities and cultures, I have fond memories of gatherings filled with love and laughter. In the past, these gatherings were a cherished tradition, but as our matriarchs have passed and families have drifted apart, those moments have become rare. I often find myself longing for the warmth and joy we once shared, including the lighthearted gossip that often accompanied our celebrations.

The pandemic further complicated our family interactions, as concerns over health led to decreased participation in gatherings. My family has always been a cornerstone of my identity, encompassing both my biological relatives and my chosen family. Unfortunately, my own challenges have added to the strain. After a car accident involving family members, I faced a difficult insurance lawsuit against my cousin. This situation caused some family members to distance themselves from me, and I encountered criticism for my decisions.

Compounding these issues, I am part of the LGBTQIA community. I came out publicly with my wife during the lawsuit, which was not well received by some family members. As a result, when I was invited to gatherings, it often felt like I was walking on eggshells, with an unspoken tension surrounding our situation.

This holiday season marks the first time my wife and I will attend family gatherings as a married couple since the lawsuit concluded two years ago. Throughout this tumultuous period, I have accomplished a great deal: I graduated with my bachelor’s degree, started my master’s program, recovered from extensive back surgery, and moved into my first home with my wife.

I understand how difficult these situations can be, and I hope we can all find ways to navigate our family relationships and still enjoy the holidays.

Family plays a big role in our lives. It can greatly affect our mental health, which is how we think and feel. When families are supportive and loving, it helps us feel safe and happy. However, when there are problems, it can lead to stress and sadness.

Here are some tips I have learned:

Stressful Family Situations

Not all families are supportive. Some families may argue a lot or have problems that make members feel anxious. For instance, if parents are going through a divorce, children might feel caught in the middle. They may worry about the future or feel guilty about the situation. This kind of stress can lead to issues like depression or anxiety, which affect a person’s overall well-being. Differences in opinions including politics can seperate family and create resentment. With their being even more ways for a family to have tension it can truly impact one another as anger is a secondary emotion, deep down there is sadness for the situation at hand.

Communication and Boundaries 

If families started talking openly about their feelings and allow for all to be seen and heard, we can all handle problems better. When everyone expresses their thoughts, it helps to reduce misunderstandings by validating each other for how they feel but leaving room fod there to be a resolution. For instance, if a adult feels overwhelmed by childhood trauma, discussing it with parents and other family members can lead to solutions and creating boundaries. This communication helps strengthen family bonds and improves mental health.

The Role of Family Activities

Additionally, spending time together as a family can also enhance boundaries. Create a new space to be open to creating new memories, but not replace, can create a new direction forward. Activities like family dinners, game nights, or outings provide a chance to connect. These moments create happy memories and reinforce relationships. When family members enjoy time together, it builds a sense of belonging, which is crucial for emotional health.  Sometimes you have to be the one to engage these activities.

If you or your family is struggling, it’s important to seek help. Therapy or counseling can provide support and teach families how to communicate better. A professional can help identify issues and suggest ways to resolve conflicts. This support can make a significant difference in the mental health of everyone involved.

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Family matters greatly when it comes to mental health. A loving and supportive family can help us feel secure and happy. However, stressful situations and poor communication can lead to mental health problems. By focusing on support, communication, and quality time, families can create a healthier environment. Remember, it’s okay to ask for help if needed. Taking care of our mental health is essential for a happy life.

Have a beautiful weekend lovies.

 

With love,

Monique

The Power of Vacations for Boosting Mental Health

Why Vacations are Important for Mental Health:

Imagine your brain is like a muscle.  Just like  your muscles need rest after working hard, your brain needs a break too.  Vacations give your brain the chance to rest and recharge.  When you’re constantly busy with school, chores, and other responsibilities, it can make your brain feel tired and stressed out.  But when you take a holiday/vacation, it’s like giving your brain a mini-vacation too!

  1. Have your ever felt overwhelmed by all the things we have to do in a day?  That’s stress. Vacations give you a break from all the things that cause stress.  Whether it’s school, homework, and any other worries, taking time away from them can help your brain recharge.
  2. Have you ever noticed how happy you feel when you’re doing something you love, like playing with friends or spending time outdoors? Vacations are full of opportunities to do things that make you happy.
  3. Have you ever had a really cool idea pop into your head while you were daydreaming or playing?  That’s your creativity at work!
  4. Vacations are a great way to spend time with people you love.
  5. Did you know that what’s good for your body is also good for your brain?  Activities including swimming, hiking, or playing sports not only keep your body healthy but also release feel-good chemicals called endorphins.

Vacations are like a breath of fresh air for your brain, they give you a chance to relax, have fun, and recharge your mental batteries.  By reducing stress, improving mood, sparking creativity, building relationships, and promoting physical health.  So next time you have a chance to vacation and worried about money, take a step back think of all the memories and rest you can get and take that leap of faith.  Your brain will thank you for it!!

Therapeutic Escapes: Combining therapy and vacation can be a healthy way of fully rejuvenating your mind.  For more information on seeking how check out our staff to find the perfect person to meet your needs, Click here .
Some great reads for vacation from amazon:
Self love Workbook for Women;  click here
Learn, Grow, Forgive;  click here
The Shack;  click here
Healing Inner Child Workbook;  click here
Meditation Guide;  click here

CAVEAT*** Always consult your doctor before starting new therapies or vacations for optimal mental health.

 

 

I hope you all have a wonderful memorial weekend, whether you celebrate the holiday or not, relax your mind and enjoy yourself!!

With love,

Monique

 

 

 

 

The Impact of Holiday Gatherings on Mental Health and Coping Mechanisms to Get Through it

 

Easter brings people together for joy and bonding.  Yet, family gatherings may also bring tension.  Finding ways to manage this stress helps maintain harmony.

Read our excerpt about anxiety, Click here

Easter gatherings can have positive effects on mental health:

  1. Feeling connected: Holidays give us a chance to be with family and friends again, which can make us feel like we belong and less alone.
  2. Emotional Help:  Sharing happy and sad times with family helps us deal with tough feelings better and makes us stronger emotionally.

Negative effects of Easter Gatherings on Mental Health Include:

  1. Family Conflict:  Easter gatherings may bring unresolved conflicts to the surface.  Differences in opinions, values, and lifestyles can escalate into arguments.
  2. Pressure and Expectations:  The pressure to conform familial expectations and traditions can create stress and anxiety.  Individuals may feel compelled to present themselves in a certain way that may not be comfortable with.

Dealing with holiday gatherings can be tough, but there are ways to cope:

  1. Set Boundaries:  It’s important to tell your family what’s okay and what’s not.  If things get too much, take a break.
  2. Active Listening: Pay attention to what others are saying and try to understand their feelings.
  3. Manage Expectations:  Don’t aim for perfection.  Focus on enjoying the moment, flaws and all.
  4. Take Care of Yourself:  Do things that make you happy before, during, and after family gatherings, like meditating or exercising.
  5. Be grateful and Get support:  Talk to someone outside your family for a different perspective.  Focus on the good things about your family to feel better.  Changing your mindset can change your life.

Easter gatherings, lasting only two days, can deeply affect our mental well-being, for better or worse.  Recognizing these potential impacts beforehand can prepare us to appreciate and support each other, emphasizing the importance of love and connection during these times.

For more information,  Click here

I hope you have a safe and happy holiday.

Love,

Monique

 

References:

A psychiatrist’s guide to surviving family gatherings. (n.d.). https://www.psychiatry.org/news-room/apa-blogs/surviving-family-gatherings