The CEO of Christie’s, the famed art auction house, Edward Dolman recently stated that their market had been driven by the 3 D’s: “Divorce, debt, and death. No matter what the state of the market, divorce happens, people die, and debt has to be paid.”
Minus the death variable from the equation, what happens when two married people multiply their debt and add divorce?
Nobel Peace Prize winner and University of Chicago Business School economist Gary Becker said, “Recession has always been a factor for raising divorce rates.” Couples who experience any significant or sudden change in income, whether it’s positive or negative, are at risk for divorce.
Finances are an argument starter for many couples; loss of finances leads to stress and stress leads to depression. Depression leads to mood changes, and the non-depressed partner may initiate the separation because they are no longer connecting with their depressed partner who they may not realize is depressed.
Typical assets divided during a divorce are not worth what they used to be. The housing market is in a slump and as a result some middle-aged people have moved back into their parents house. Some couples in the midst of a separation are still living in the same house because neither can afford to move out.
The American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers showed that 57% of lawyers nationwide had seen a drop in divorce rates, as published in November 2009. The decline in the divorce rate is influenced by couples who can’t afford to get divorced or pay for the appropriate attorney fees. “Waiting out the recession” can result in increased emotional turmoil for two people that want to get out but are stuck living under the same roof.
One way to effectively manage and decrease stress is to start marital therapy. Marriage counseling, provided at Apex Behavioral Health, will help two people communicate with each other regardless of seemingly huge differences. Having an unbiased third party present helps the couple communicate and better understand each other’s point of view, which is especially beneficial for parents.
Marriage counselors can teach you how to resolve conflict in a healthy way. You will learn how to really listen to your spouse and understand what he or she is saying (or not saying). After some issues are resolved, some couples may find that their marriage is worth saving.
You’ll learn to work through unresolved conflicts in the presence of a professional. After getting your feelings out, you may find your spouse to be more understanding than you originally thought.
Even if you feel it is too late to seek marriage counseling, the only way to know for sure is to seek help. You might end up surprised! Please call Apex if you are interested in starting marriage counseling.